Twin Mum Gripes

Most people mean well when they stop you in the street and ask if your boy/girl twins are identical!  You would not believe how many people do this.  Sometimes they walk away without me having educated them (simply because I don’t have the energy or I am scared I will be too forthright in my explanation).  I apologise for having done that in the past as they will probably ask the same question of some other poor mum at some point.

Here are a selection of my gripes about the general public.  I cannot possibly list them all for fear of the workaholic telling me off for facetious behaviour.

Are they Natural?
Yes – they are not plastic.  If you mean, “were they IVF” then just ask that.  The answer I give you however will depend on how I am feeling.

Are they very different?
Yes – one is a boy and one is a girl.  Of course they are, they are individuals, just like singletons.

No more for you then?
Why not – do I look too old to have another child?

I wish I had had twins?
Why – would you find it easier than others who have twins or would you make sure you didn’t look as haggard as me. The people that say this are always younger, prettier, and trimmer (that wouldn’t be hard) than me.

We are so much more relaxed with our second and subsequent children than the first.
How do I respond to that when I have two beautiful twins, no chance of anymore, therefore no chance of experiencing a second birth or of watching another little human develop.  Remember twins first up can often be the only chance particularly for the vintagers

I don’t know how you do it.
Come over tomorrow and look after my three year old twins and psychotic labradoodle while I take the day off.

My two children are close in age, it is the same as twins or  harder I think.
It is not the same and never will be.  If you think it is harder then that is your opinion, keep it to yourself.  Motherhood should not be a competition.

They have a playmate!
Yes, but they are also the same age and therefore at the same developmental level.  When they are not hugging or playing nicely they are poking, fighting, teasing, not sharing, pushing and arguing with each other – twelve hours a day.  I am going out tomorrow to buy a referees whistle.

Do twins run in your family?
Mine or my husbands? My husbands mother is a twin and he has twin uncles.  Then I need to explain why it cannot have anything to do with our twins and this may take anywhere from 30 seconds to five minutes depending on if they want to understand or whether they were just trying to make conversation.

I have a singleton who is extremely busy and full on.
Thank goodness you don’t have two of them then.

My Cousin has twins.
So what.

OMG – you understand.  And there is usually no need for anymore conversation.  If there is a need it is usually mine as I want confirmation that it is the single handed most exciting experience they have ever had.